Rockabye Baby

Okay so, I have no self control. Eli wakes up in the middle of the night, usually about once a night. When we went in for his 15 month check up a few weeks ago, the pediatrician told me how to break him of that--she said he does not need the calories from the bottle he takes, and that it's just a habit. So, she said to just ignore it for three nights in a row. He will stop waking up and I can get more sleep. Obviously with less than three months until the new baby, those are wise words. I tried it for two nights in a row. Last night, the third night, he sounded really, really forlorn and I went in and fed and changed him!

I know that makes me weak. I am aware the doctor (and Whitney and everyone else) are right when they say I have to break him of the habit. It's hard for me to get back to sleep and it's not a good routine. BUT...

I almost started crying this morning. He is getting so big. He has never been the kind of baby who wanted to be held, or cuddled or really rocked much. I have sung to him since he was tiny, and sometimes it has really helped calm him (like on planes and at night.) But, he is getting so big! His stats from 15 months:
28 pounds (80%)
34 inches long (greater than 97% length)
77% head size (can't recall the length).
Last night I realized something. One part of me likes to get up with him at night and hold and rock him until he goes back to sleep. He hugs me and loves to have me there--that is so unlike the rest of the time I am with him, when he's so squirmy and active. And it's only going to get worse. He is growing up!!! My baby won't be my baby much longer. Soon I will have a new baby, but that doesn't make me less sad that he will be too big to rock and hug and hold very soon!

So I know it makes me kind of batty (this is the kind of thing my Mom would say or do!) but it is true nonetheless. I like to rock my little boy.